When animals attack! or Running's for 'The Birds'

Jump on the big black belt o’ doom at the gym, and you basically know what you’re going to get. You do the same routine on the same machine, and you see the same people doing the same things watching the same programs.

In my neighborhood in the southwest part of the Salt Lake Valley, you just never know what you’re going to get.

That variety is one adventurous reason I like running and walking outside instead of on a treadmill.

On one recent night, I noticed a doe — yes, a deer, a female deer! Normally deer take off when they hear loud noises (like my huffing and puffing), but this one stayed put only 30 feet away on the other side of the road.
She might’ve just found some good grub on the empty, hillside lot, and worried that I’d start snacking if she left.

I wondered if I was going between mommy and her fawns, which raised some questions. Like, “Could I jump that fence if she charged me?” and “Do you think my neighbors are anxiously recording this with video cameras just in case?”
Happy to say we both survived the close encounter without embarrassing ourselves.

A few weeks ago, I was trudging up a steep hill at night when I noticed a different animal. From about 50 yards away, the beast looked like a mountain lion. It was meandering downhill and also noticed me.

I froze in my tracks, got freaked out and hoped the cougar didn’t like fatty meat.

It just so happened that I stopped right in front of the driveway of my neighbor, a police officer who coincidentally was packing a big gun into his patrol car for his late-night shift.

Talk about good timing. Protect and serve me!

Turns out shooting an animal on a public street wasn’t my neighbor’s preferred choice of action, so we considered going inside his house. We both chuckled as the roaming carnivore came closer. It wasn’t a man-eater, after all. Just a big, funky looking dog that steered clear of us.

Phew. Another close encounter sans incident.

I have a friend who recently had her own run-ins with nature while running in our neck of the woods.

Well, run-ins might be the wrong description. Let’s call them fly-bys.

While jogging through a certain part of our town, my friend started getting pestered by what she called “killer black birds.” For some reason, this flock started swooping in at her head every time she passed by this part of her normal route.

It was very Hitchcockian (scary for her; entertaining for others to hear about).

Some people suggested the birds were uber-protective while the young’uns grew up. Others (perhaps me) jokingly asked if they could follow her with a video camera.

One time my friend even went on a run while packing a SuperSoaker water gun.

The birds wisely decided not to attack that day.

I still laugh thinking about her running Rambo-style.

Then there are the dogs, the obnoxious people who yell stuff while driving by and … well, it always seems to be an adventure out there.

Anyone else have some close encounters out there you’d like to share?